Who Says You Can't Go Home?

Me. I did. For a long time. I planned that when I went off to college in North Carolina it was goodbye Ohio, especially Mansfield, for good. Almost as soon as I got to North Carolina, my mind was completely made up I would never return to Ohio. I almost feel ashamed to admit how much I miss home. I’ve spent so much time looking down on the idea of moving back home and “needing” to be near family, I guess jokes on me. We’d always planned to move back closer to home once we had kids, but we never intended to end up in Ohio. Even while we were pregnant with Stella and right after she was born, we still thought we’d finish out our 5-year plan in Texas before heading back east. A lot of people have assumed our yearn to be closer to family is because we want help with Stella, and while that’ll probably be true once we have multiple kids, that’s not really the main agenda. Having a child has just made me so much more aware of how fast time goes and how little time we have with those we love. I certainly won’t be complaining about having family fighting over time with Stella which will make date nights and events much more convenient, but I have no intention of sacrificing more than maybe an hour or two a week at most with her.

I also never thought I’d say it, but I miss the cold weather. I miss the snow and getting all bundled up in the winter. I’m so tired of 70-degree days in the middle of December. It didn’t even feel like Christmas time until we got home on the 23rd. Every other time we’ve been getting ready to leave Ohio, I’ve been so ready to get back but this time I was dreading it. I didn’t want to leave family. Sure, I love my friends in Texas but it’s not the same as family. I’m sure if I wasn’t so close with my family I’d have a completely different outlook, but I am already close with my family and want to foster an even better relationship with my dad than I currently have.

One of the main reasons for moving to Texas was to be able to travel around Texas and out west easier, but what we didn’t account for was the fact that all of our travel money would be going towards visiting home for major holidays/events. We’ve been here a year and a half almost and haven’t done any traveling, except for back to Ohio. Even if we had the funds to be able to travel home and go on vacations, the limited vacation time would still hinder our travel availability.

A small part of me has cold feet about potentially moving back, because I’ve held onto so long that I would never be happy in Ohio, but I can’t ignore this part of me pulling me home. I’ve always told Jakob God would take us when and where we’re meant to be. The last few months I’ve been praying on this calling I feel back home. Asking Him to make the decision for us and provide us a job opportunity for Jakob if it’s right. Last week, a position at Marion, Ohio Clayton Homes, a top 100 store, opened. I trust God that if a move back to Ohio is what’s best for us Jakob will get that job.

I’m so thankful for the places God has guided me thus far. From college in North Carolina to living in Texas. (Especially because Texas wasn’t on such BS when it comes to COVID) I love the experiences I’ve had, the people I’ve met, the things I’ve learned but I’m ready to head back to my roots. Wilmington will always hold a special place in my heart, and I hope to buy a beach house there someday. It showed me the kind of life I don’t want to have, drinking and smoking all the time. Texas taught me how to make friends, and the kind of friends I want. Those with God first in their lives whom I can share my faith with and those who share similar parenting values. Who knows, maybe in 10 years we’ll be ready to venture out again to another state. I don’t want to live in Ohio forever, but God has certainly made me realize I shouldn’t speak in definitizes because He has better plan

Cover image from: https://www.uscustomstickers.com/product/ohio-home-buckeye-leaf-state-sticker